Life With The Libbys | How Motherhood Has Changed Me
Becoming Grey's Mom has been the biggest blessing in my life. It's a calling I knew I had at a young age, but creating life with Cole and watching G grow into her own little human is better than I could have ever imagined. Everyone tries to prepare you for motherhood. They tell you the dos & don'ts and share the "just waits" and warn you how your whole life will change. And it does. But no one can prepare you for the love you will gain. How your heart can stretch and be more full than ever before. No one can prepare you for what it's like to grow a human from scratch day by day inside you then watch them enter the world, taking in each day learning and growing - like your heart living outside of your body. To see a human beautifully made of equal parts you & your partner. It's truly magic. I find it difficult to put into words because you really can't feel the depth of it until you experience it yourself.
I was reflecting recently of how much life has changed in the past few years. Partly because of the pandemic, but mostly because of motherhood. I think I've grown so much as a human since becoming a Mom and I wanted to share a few unexpected ways that Motherhood has changed me...
Firm in my Nos
I used to get terrible fomo (fear of missing out). I hate to even admit it, but it's true. If my girlfriends were getting together without me or if I missed out on the chance for a vacation or event I would feel sad. Through the pandemic, I said no a lot and it wasn't fun but it got easier. And once I got pregnant and had Grey the no's definitely got more frequent but also easier. Although I wish I could do it all. I can't. And I learned to be truly happy with exactly where I am. I changed my perspective and realized I was never missing out on anything, I am exactly where I needed to be.
Give Less F*cks & Learn What's Truly Important
Once you have kids, you literally just have less f*cks to give. Blunt but true. It puts life into a new perspective. You realize what is truly important and what is undeserving of your time, attention, and worry. You have to prioritize what is important which leaves less energy and time for the things that don't matter.
This was probably the most surprising to me. I definitely have less free time but I'm 10x more productive with the time I do have. Give me a 2 hour nap and I can conquer the world. Again, your time becomes more valuable so you learn how to prioritize it to maximize your life in all aspects
Speaking of valuing time - this becomes much clearer. Alone time? Cherished. Uninterrupted time with your spouse? Golden. The chance to sit down as a family or participate in night routine? Invaluable. Each moment with or without your children has more meaning. I've seen a huge shift in my perspective on taking new work - is it worth it? Is it worth it to miss another Saturday? or an evening at home? Of course I have to work to pay the bills but being more selective with what I take on allows me to feel confident in my decisions and present where my feet are whether that's at home or at work.
Leading right into the next one. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "the days are long but the years are short." It's so true. The first year of life (and I'm sure most of childhood) goes by so fast and there are so so many changes. You don't want to miss a thing. Nothing is more important than being present right where you are. This is especially hard if you're a working Mom. I often find myself at work dreaming of my babe and then when I'm at home thinking about work. It's an imperfect balance that I will be working at the rest of my life but it's always a goal of mine and has become much more important since becoming a Mom.
Relationship with My Husband
Creating human life together certainly takes your relationship to the next level. We have a new set of challenges but also a new found love watching Cole grow into a father role and parenting together. I saw something recently say that when you have a child you have to start dating your husband again, and I feel that. We have been trying to be better about communication, scheduling date nights, and prioritizing our personal relationship along with our family.
More Drive for the Future
I've always been a driven person and have big dreams for my future but once you add a little one into the mix it gives your future dreams more purpose. It's someone else's life that you are now responsible for providing comfort, experience, and security. I want to be the best possible version of myself so that I can give that to G and so that she can aim to do the same.
New Perspective on Health
These two kind of go hand in hand. Taking care of my body so that I could grow and raise a human has become one of my top priorities. I care less about the way my body looks and more about the way my body feels both mentally and physically. I want to be strong, healthy, clear, creative so that I can show up every day and be here for all her future milestones.
Changes in Friendships
I know this can be a hard one for a lot of new Moms. Luckily my girlfriends are my soul sisters and I truly believe we can navigate through any season of life. But it definitely looks different. Remember that fomo I mentioned? That is SO strong when it comes to time with my girls. I miss the spontaneity (or desire) of going out on a random night or booking a last minute trip but what we gained is so much better. I love watching my best friends love on my girl. I think if anything, our friendships have deepened in the sense that we have become more a family.
New Appreciation for Your Mom & All The Moms
This is a big one. Holy heck. You just don't know until you do and Moms are freaking superheroes. From pregnancy, birthing experience, postpartum, and raising tiny humans - Moms are magic. I have a new appreciation for how my Mom raised me and also a deep gratitude for her relationship with Grey. I love watching her be a Yia Yia. I love watching Grey light up when she enters a room. I know it's going to be a cherished relationship for the rest of their lives.
I'm sure there are so many other ways that Motherhood will change and challenge me. I look forward to a lifetime of this kind of love because it truly is the best thing. Are you a new or expecting mom? how has motherhood changed you?
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Photos by Darling Photography.