5 Things We Learned From Our Own Wedding | Life With The Libbys
When talking about our relationship, I often refer to us as newlyweds. It honestly feels like just yesterday that we were planning a wedding and getting married but we actually got engaged back in 2017 and married in 2019. If you want to take a peek at our Coastal Romantic Wedding you can check out our feature on Style Me Pretty.
Being in the industry definitely gave us a unique perspective when planning our wedding. Everyone always assumed we knew exactly what we wanted, but in fact it was that we knew exactly what we didn't want. Because we're in the industry clients ask us all the time, "what did you do" or "you see so many, what would you recommend." We put up a questionnaire on Instagram about blog posts you want to see and this was most requested - 'things we learned from our wedding.' I'm excited to share a peek into our wedding planning journey and reflecting at some things we may have done differently.
There are no rules
There is this weird pressure when planning a wedding about all the things you have to do. One of the biggest things I learned is that you can make your own rules. Include the traditions or toss them out the window - it's your day and a celebration of your love - do it the way you want to.
A few things we did differently:
no sit down dinner - passed apps all night
sparkler dance > sparkler exit
wedding party sits during ceremony (with significant others)
head table includes significant others
crepe bar > cake
mix match wedding party attire (we had our girls pick out their own dresses in the same-ish shade but all had different styles and textures. The guys just wore a navy suit in any shade - it didn't need to match perfectly.
horseshoe shaped ceremony piece > arbor
custom non-religious ceremony
weekend > one day
large statement floral/lighting pieces and kept the guest tables simple
2. Book Your Vendors in Order of Importance to YOU
This is a big one. I highly recommend sitting down with your significant other and making a priority list of what's important to you. Of course your venue and guest count play a big role in a lot of these decisions but if there is a band you LOVE then book them first or if there is a photographer/videographer team you MUST have (hint hint) reach out to them before even picking a date to see what their availability is. This is how we booked our vendor dream team and I highly recommend this approach.
3. Weddings are an Investment
You probably don't need another person telling you how much your wedding day is going to cost, but quality vendors aren't cheap. I'm a firm believer that you get what you pay for so do your research and create a budget strategically. Putting photos/florals/food and all the other goodies aside, the single best investment you can make in your wedding day is a wedding planner (or at least a day of coordinator). If you are stressed on your wedding day, what is it worth? If you are busy setting up tables and arranging decor instead of relaxing and hanging out with your bridesmaids - what is the point? Hire someone you trust to take care of the details so you can enjoy your day and be PRESENT in the moment. I promise is the best investment you can make.
4. Make it an Experience
When thinking about our wedding weekend we wanted to make it an experience our guests wouldn't forget. A chance to celebrate and have fun and be together. I remember so vividly sitting in the bathroom in the middle of my wedding and my Maid of Honor looking at me (garlic knots & champagne in hand) saying to me "this is the best day of life - is this the best day of your life?" Still to this day when we gather with family and friends we reminisce of our wedding day with tears in our eyes.
5. Don't have any Regrets
Do it the way you want to and don't feel guilty about it. We spent a large portion of our savings on our wedding and to be completely honest, I don't regret a single cent. I honestly don't. We did everything the way we wanted to (within reason) and felt comfortable with the money we were spending (or investing). However, that's not to say that there aren't a few things we might do differently if we were to do it again. Like...
Add video coverage to our welcome party/rehearsal dinner. We had photos but I wish we had video because I think it would have really completed telling the story of our whole wedding weekend.
Have our rehearsal dinner catered. We DIY'd a lobster bake and it went pretty smoothly but I felt guilty that some of our friends and family were in the kitchen instead of enjoying themselves.
Have an after party. For us, everything was all at one location and the noise ordinance was at 10pm but I wish we could have somehow extended the party. If there is a way for you to have an after party definitely consider it. I guarantee you won't want your day to end.
I hope this was helpful and by sharing our experience you take away a little nugget of ideas or inspiration.
We love working as a husband and wife team on your wedding day - as one client put it, "it added to our love filled day". It also allows us to relate to our clients when talking about their own wedding plans because we still consider ourselves newlyweds, so if you have questions or need some suggestions - don't hesitate to reach out, we're here for you.
To learn more about our rockstar team of wedding vendors check out our blog post: "Our Wedding Vendors"
All photography in post by Mary-Claire Photography.